Spa Wars

Is Carbis Bay the Princess Leia of Spas? Can you picture Darth Vader in the steam room at The Corinthia?

Ok I’m desperately scrabbling around here, trying to link Star Wars with Spas – only because The Force Awakens seems to be eclipsing Christmas right now. Most of the younger ladies in the office have no interest in the whole hyped shebang, but thanks to my teenagers and nerdy husband, I am well acquainted with the franchise.

Indeed, I can feel the force of all the toys from Christmas pasts – including light sabres and a large plastic Millennium Falcon – straining the floor of my attic.

Plus, I had a bit of a Hans Solo crush when younger (who didn’t, right?) and I’m also a huge Carrie Fisher fan. Never could pull off that double bun look though.

So I’ve come up with my GENIUS title (you can tell I used to work at the Sun), I’ve decided to equate spas with the more famous Star Wars characters and in the process attempt not to offend/confuse too many people. 

Meanwhile, don’t think you have to do a Star Wars marathon to prep for the latest – simply enjoy the Eddie Izzard Death Star Canteen Sketch (in Lego). It says it all.

THE CAST

Luke Skywalker - we can picture Luke finding his inner force at one of the many holistic treatments at The Bamford Haybarn in Daylesford. We’re sure Lady Bamford could find him a longer robe.

Hans Solo – would have to be louche and sexy Seaham Hall. Byron married the heiress to this stunning Georgian Hall in 1815 and there’s something Byronic about Hans.

Princess Leia – we think Carrie Fisher must have enjoyed a few spas to look this good after the life she’s had. I can totally see her at Carbis Bay, which is essentially Long Island in St Ives and even has its own Yacht.

Chewbacca – has to be Chewton Glen. It’s not the physical resemblance to the hairy monosyllabic Wookie obviously (although Chewy Glen is rather large and charming), it’s the name that did it.

Yoda – SenSpa at Careys Manor, New Forest. Because a Zen Garden there is. More need we say?

Darth Vader – ESPA Life at Corinthia. Not, we hasten to add, because it’s evil and wants to rule the galaxy, but because their glamorous black tiled mosaic steam room has a distinctly Darth Vader-y feel. We could almost imagine hearing his heavy breathing as he emerges from the steam…

C3PO – The Golden Indulgence Ritual at Ragdale Hall is surely perfect for this metrosexual bling machine.

R2D2 – Mandarin Oriental. You can lie on a ‘suspended cushion of air’ in their vitality pool and make out you’re the little floating droid.

Millennium Falcon – that’s the ship from the original for those born this millennium. Anyway, it looks like it’s crashed into the Berkshire countryside and become Coworth Park Spa.

If you have any better ideas, tweet us using #SpaWars