Scarlet Spy tries a 24-Hour Retreat

TAKE ME WITH YOU…

Set amongst ancient woodland – with its swathes of anemones and bluebells - and meadow pastures, Green Farm is a bio-regenerative working farm, wellbeing estate and spa set in the Kent countryside.

SHALL WE SPA?

Park in the gravel car park and wander through to the Spa & Retreat reception – a calming space with tiled floor, wood-clad walls and sofas laden with cosy sheepskin rugs. We warmly greeted by Madison and given a tour of the spa. On your right, you’ll find the changing rooms with two loos, a shower and ESPA products. If you’re here on a spa day, your robe and towel will be hanging in here waiting for you; if you’re on a retreat, you’ll find your robe, a sarong (nice touch) and flip-flops in your room.

On your left: a double bank of key-operated lockers along one wall and, behind here, a door leading through to the walled garden with its own jacuzzi and entrance to the treatment rooms.

Walk through the spa reception to reach the lounge where local artwork adorns the walls. Lunch is served here; this space doubles as a yoga studio, too. Floor-to-ceiling glass frames the wild pond with majestic willow tree at one end providing a serene backdrop for sun salutations. There’s plenty of rattan chairs or sofas to get comfy on and sip a refreshing glass of pear juice.

Outside, the brave can take a dip in the wild swimming pond. We lowered ourselves in via the ladder and as our shoulders submerged, two newts popped their heads up to say hello (this is a nature pond, after all). Keep an eye out for the resident Moor Hen nesting on the bank and watch dragonflies dart across the surface. Once you adjust to the cold, floating about surrounded by nature, with a 360-degree soundtrack of birdsong, was quite something.

Warm up in the barrel sauna afterwards, big enough for two to get horizontal in and contemplate life through the picture window, or bubble in the hot tub overlooking lush green fields. We merrily watched a row of four free roaming chooks stroll the perimeter like a scene from the Great Escape.

TREATMENT TALK

We tried the Bramley Rebalance Ritual (90 minutes, £110)

My therapist, Nell, met me in the spa reception and led me through to one of the treatment rooms. After discussing the treatment, Nell left the room so I could don paper knickers and get comfortable on the treatment bed, lying face down.

Nell commenced the treatment by gently rocking my body and, after three deep inhalations of oil, it was time for the exfoliation element of the treatment. Nell applied Bramley Cranberry Seed Glowing Body Scrub to my back and the backs of arms and legs; turning onto my front, she continued on the other side. Handing me a towel to cover my dignity, it was time to hop in the shower and rinse off the scrub.

Back on the bed, Nell applied a nourishing moisturiser to my whole body before commencing the facial. First up, a double cleanse using Camomile Cleansing Micellar Water & Spearmint Invigorating Face Wash, before an Apple Peek AHH face peel with glycolic, lactic and malic acids. Nell then used cooling cryotherapy crystal globes to soothe the skin before moving onto a much-needed neck and shoulder massage.

Next, it was time for a pressure point face massage where Nell worked out tension in my jaw that I wasn’t even aware existed. After applying a Rosehip Nourishing Face Mask, she moved on to the most amazing scalp massage - by which time every inch of stress had evaporated from my body (and that’s some achievement). Mask removed; serum and face balm applied, Nell fetched me a glass of water and I wandered back to the main house in a post-treatment haze.

The treatment menu at The Spa at Green Farm includes a range of facials, massages, scrubs and wraps from both Bramley and ESPA.

HOW DID IT MEASURE UP?

Whenever I encounter a barefoot therapist, I know I’m in good hands and Nell was no exception. The Bramley treatment was delightful; I left with silky soft skin and a feeling of calm.

SPOT OF LUNCH?

You can lunch en-robe in the airy yoga studio-cum-lounge; take a seat by the window overlooking the natural swimming pond. The set two-course lunch commenced with a very more-ish spicy pumpkin soup, Focaccia with olive oil and hummus with paprika – all homemade.

For round two: three beautifully presented bowls of food - a fresh and tasty beetroot, orange and quinoa salad with goats cheese; lamb kofta - from the farm – with garlic sauce, and a crisp walnut, apple and Parmesan salad with pretty edible flowers. All dishes were as delicious as they were nourishing.

Guests on a retreat will have dinner in the Grade II listed farmhouse, dating back (in parts) to the 1400s. Expects buckets of character with wooden floors, inglenook fireplaces and steep staircases. It’s also home to the three resident dogs: Leo, Sassy and the most adorable puppy, Gordy.

A communal affair, you’ll feast together with likeminded retreatees around a long table in the dining room. We devoured beautifully pink roast beef (from the farm) carved at the table, served with new potatoes, broccoli, leaks, and courgette – all grown in the farm’s kitchen garden. A healthy spoonful of horseradish and a glass of red wine was the perfect accompaniment.

GOT ALL DAY?

Book a 24-hour or weekend retreat to truly make the most of everything Green Farm has to offer. Take a tour of the working farm and ancient woodland with Martin; try a rebalancing yoga class with Celia and banish the stresses of every-day life with a nature pond dip and sauna toasting, on repeat. Throw in a treatment and some delicious home-grown food and you’ll feel as good new.

SHORT ON TIME?

Book a Bramley Rebalance Ritual for 90 minutes of bliss.